After the week we had last week with Levi's accident and being in the hospital I anticipated that this week might be difficult. But I was thinking the hard part would be the transitioning of Levi and his injuries. That part has been far better than I could have hoped, he is healing wonderfully. He is a strong little man and God is healing his body quite quickly! For that we are so grateful and thankful! And because of that fact I feel horrible for worrying about anything else!
I feel so ungrateful for what I'm about to say, we experienced a miracle when God protected Levi, we experienced a miracle when his little body began to heal so quickly, but now we need another one. And I feel like I am being so selfish and spoiled to even ask for another... it's not like I feel like I need to earn God's favor, not that because I am good He will show up... that's not it at all, but more along the lines of He was so faithful to care for Levi, in that HUGE trauma and circumstance, that I feel like asking for Him to show up in this situation is petty and pathetic. So I was honest with God, I journal ed and confessed my unbelief and lack of faith. I confessed and asked for God to continue revealing His character to me so that I could trust Him more. I feel so silly even typing those words. I mean I JUST saw God show up in a beautiful way a little over a week ago. You would think I would have the faith that could move mountains. So why do I question His providence in this situation? How could I doubt His character now?
My flesh is so weak, I am such a human. I have such a short memory, and I am reminded of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. God parted the Red Sea to save them from their enemies, how much more miraculous could that be? And not one chapter later His people had forgotten. They were complaining and fearful for how He would provide for their daily needs, as if He would save them from Egyptian armies and leave them in the wilderness to die. So I keep reminding myself that God is still the same God that He was in the hospital, in the middle of my worst moments. He is still the God who cares, the God who sustains, the God who provides, JEHOVAH-SIRRAH, the God who sees. So I guess the point of this whole post is this, God doesn't just show up in the obviously miraculous, He will also show up in the everyday and the mundane. And we don't have to wonder if our problems are big enough for Him to care about because it says in Matthew that he cares for the flowers and the birds, and how much more does He love us! He is faithful, ALWAYS, He is not like us. He is totally other, He is consistent, we can trust in Him. The two pictures I posted below are from this past week, the first one from the hospital with Levi, in the moment that I was so sure of God's faithfulness. And the bottom is one from this week, after choir practice, God's reminder that He is with me in the storm and the calm. Great is Thy faithfulness! God, give me faith, more faith! I confess my tendency to humanize You. I know that You are wholly other. I confess my fear that You may not show up. Forgive me for forgetting how You have already shown up for us in so many miraculous ways. I will lead my heart and my mind in Your ways and follow You and trust You! You are worthy, You alone. Help me not forget!
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| DIVINE GRACE |
I feel so ungrateful for what I'm about to say, we experienced a miracle when God protected Levi, we experienced a miracle when his little body began to heal so quickly, but now we need another one. And I feel like I am being so selfish and spoiled to even ask for another... it's not like I feel like I need to earn God's favor, not that because I am good He will show up... that's not it at all, but more along the lines of He was so faithful to care for Levi, in that HUGE trauma and circumstance, that I feel like asking for Him to show up in this situation is petty and pathetic. So I was honest with God, I journal ed and confessed my unbelief and lack of faith. I confessed and asked for God to continue revealing His character to me so that I could trust Him more. I feel so silly even typing those words. I mean I JUST saw God show up in a beautiful way a little over a week ago. You would think I would have the faith that could move mountains. So why do I question His providence in this situation? How could I doubt His character now?
My flesh is so weak, I am such a human. I have such a short memory, and I am reminded of the Israelites wandering in the wilderness. God parted the Red Sea to save them from their enemies, how much more miraculous could that be? And not one chapter later His people had forgotten. They were complaining and fearful for how He would provide for their daily needs, as if He would save them from Egyptian armies and leave them in the wilderness to die. So I keep reminding myself that God is still the same God that He was in the hospital, in the middle of my worst moments. He is still the God who cares, the God who sustains, the God who provides, JEHOVAH-SIRRAH, the God who sees. So I guess the point of this whole post is this, God doesn't just show up in the obviously miraculous, He will also show up in the everyday and the mundane. And we don't have to wonder if our problems are big enough for Him to care about because it says in Matthew that he cares for the flowers and the birds, and how much more does He love us! He is faithful, ALWAYS, He is not like us. He is totally other, He is consistent, we can trust in Him. The two pictures I posted below are from this past week, the first one from the hospital with Levi, in the moment that I was so sure of God's faithfulness. And the bottom is one from this week, after choir practice, God's reminder that He is with me in the storm and the calm. Great is Thy faithfulness! God, give me faith, more faith! I confess my tendency to humanize You. I know that You are wholly other. I confess my fear that You may not show up. Forgive me for forgetting how You have already shown up for us in so many miraculous ways. I will lead my heart and my mind in Your ways and follow You and trust You! You are worthy, You alone. Help me not forget!
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