VIRGINITY PRIDE OF A VIRGIN
virgin' is traditionally seen as someone who has never had sexual intercourse before whether female or male in sexually active age. However, people have different ideas about what 'losing your virginity' means. For some, it's having heterosexual sex for the first time. For others, it can mean having any sort of sex including gay or lesbian sex for the first time. Whether you think these things 'count' or not, don't forget that all of them can transmit sexually transmitted diseases (STD). And whatever you think 'being a virgin' means, remember that the most important thing is making sure you're ready before you do anything sexual, whether it’s the first time or not. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin and you shouldn't feel like you have to go further than you are comfortable with because of peer pressure. It’s usually better to have enough of a trusting relationship to chat openly about your experiences than to rush in having sexual intercourse. It is quite important to be honest with your partner because small lies build up to another and before you realise you would have become a chronic liar that cannot be trusted. There's nothing embarrassing about telling your partner that you haven’t been with anyone else. If you're close enough to someone to be thinking about having sex, you should be close enough to be able to talk honestly to him or her. You deserve not to be judged. If anyone makes you feel bad for things that have happened in your life, they’re probably not good enough to give you time to be yourself.There is no definite way of knowing if a girl is a virgin or not as a lack of bleeding is not proof enough. First-time sex can hurt and some girls or young women do bleed a little bit. The bleeding usually occurs because the girl has a hymen which breaks the first time she has sexual intercourse. The hymen is a small piece of thin skin which goes across the opening of the vagina and protects it when she is young. It has some gaps in it where the blood can come out when she has her period. Sometimes a girl might already have broken her hymen without knowing about it. For example, this can happen as a result of playing sports or horse riding. Sex the first time shouldn't hurt for a boy, but he can make it easier for his partner by being gentle and taking it slowly in trying to make it special for both.Virginity in times past was seen to be a badge of honor. Nowadays, many youths view it as a cause of shame and embarrassment, an abnormal condition, a malady to be “cured” as soon as possible. Not surprisingly, youths are giving up their virginity in record numbers. For example, a 1983 survey of German youths revealed that only 9 percent of 15-year-old girls and 4 percent of 15-year-old boys had experienced sexual relations. By 1989 the numbers had risen to 25 percent and 20 percent respectively! Similar trends have been noted all over the world.It is very difficult to establish whether there is anything that has given virginity a bad name among youths of this present emerging generation. Youths of all generations have had to deal with the strong feelings like been aroused during puberty. Today’s youths, however, grow up in a world that gives them little or no moral guidance. In one European land, a group of Christian elders report: “In spite of a religious veneer, this is essentially an amoral country. Immoral sex is tolerated as a ‘human weakness.’ Children are raised in families where the parents are not married. Sex-oriented advertising is worse here than in any other country in the Western world.” Youths in developing lands are likewise exposed to powerful cultural and economic forces that encourage promiscuity. ‘If a young man doesn’t have sex,’ youths in one African land are warned, ‘then his body will be weakened.’ Equally common is the belief that ‘a girl does not know life until she has had sex with a boy.’Furthermore, because of widespread unemployment and poverty, a girl may be afraid to turn down a prospective employer’s demand that she have relations with him. Teachers may likewise demand sex as payment for a passing grade in school. It is not unusual for poor girls to offer sex in exchange for basic necessities such as for a bar of soap. “Having sex is considered much like having a drink or a meal,” report observers in one developing community.Particularly influential, though, is the pressure from peers. A youth who is still a virgin is likely to be the victim of unrelenting teasing and harassment.